Vital Options Resources Excerpts from The Group Room radio program, the World's Largest Cancer Support Group, hosted by Selma R. Schimmel.

Maintaining a sense of control...

ADAM: It's difficult to be going through a normal life pattern, then be forced to deal with cancer and the possibility of your death. It's really difficult to plan your life when you don't know if you'll be alive.

JEREMY: You have to take control of yourself, even though you really can't comprehend this "thing" that's been thrown at you. You have to find out what you need to learn about your cancer, then say "Hey, I'm going to go get some help." That's what you have to do.

GRANT: I was in perfect shape. I ate well, I worked out a lot. One day I didn't feel so good so I went to the doctor. They did some tests and told me I have Hodgkin's disease. I was stunned, how could I have cancer? But I said to my doctor, "OK, what do we do? How do we take care of this? I'm not stopping, and this is not stopping me."

ELISA: When I first got cancer I really felt like I had to have a lot of control over my treatment and everything else. But I quickly learned, as most do, that you lose a lot of control, that you aren't in charge of so many things. I have come to the point where I know what I need to be in control of, and I know what I need to let go of. I don't have to control everything.

KYLE: When you're five years old and have cancer, you're pretty helpless. But your parents are handling your treatment decisions, so it feels perfectly normal. It feels that way throughout your teenage years. They are there to protect you. It's a little frightening to realize that now it's going to be in my hands. I'm kinda scared.

DR. LESLIE (radiation oncologist): Kyle grew up with cancer. It helped shape his childhood, and him as well. Others are diagnosed in their teens and twenties. You can see the difference in anxiety levels. It's sometimes easier for a child with cancer, who's known no other life, to accept what has happened, especially when he's surrounded by other children with the disease. But for young adults, just beginning to take full control of their lives and to build for the future, it's very different, very frightening. And think about Kyle's parents, having to give up control soon. It must be very anxiety-provoking for them.

ADAM: It will be tough for both Kyle and his parents. I'm thirty-two, I've had cancer for seven years, and my family still wants to be more involved than I would like them to be. It's tough for those who have been in control to pull back.

KYLE: Yes. No matter what, you're always your parents' little baby.

HALINA (therapist): One of the strengths of young people dealing with cancer is that they are often action-oriented, goal-oriented, energetic. They often want to deal with the disease, right now!

More excerpts...

 
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